Why is tribal identity so primal in Zambia, as to at times constitute a threat to our national security? Why should an accident of birth be a defining characteristic that one should be judged by, by fellow Zambians? Why? This whole tribe thing is really vexatious and pisses me off no end. This is partly because most Zambians do not realise that tribalism stems partly from the British colonialists.

One way out of the tribe-abyss would be to start the detribalisation process by cancelling provinces and provincial boundaries and, as an administrative unit, start operating on the district/county level only. In addition, on official government documents, we need to stop asking for someone’s tribe. If you want to know my chief, then you want to know my tribe.

Surely, this does not need the much clichéd thinking outside the box!

Allow me to expound a bit on this subject. In 1884-1885, in Berlin, the colonialists drew up African borders very carelessly as they carved up the continent, with predictable consequences. By and large, our current provincial boundaries were drawn up by our colonisers as part of their divide and rule tactic. For example, if you were from Southern Province and the other fellow was from Eastern Province, that was already a divide and delayed the inhabitants fighting as one to get rid of the colonialist. But if you are from Gwembe District and the other woman is from Chama District, no sweat, all are parts of one Zambia.

After creating provinces, the colonialists went further by categorising all inhabitants into tribes and not ethnicities. And they succeeded so well that sixty years after they left, we are still scratching, maiming, gouging, and sometimes killing one another over our tribal identities! About eight generations ago, the Lunda and Luvale in North-Western Province had one progenitor. The colonialists came, told them that they are radically different tribes, and voila, the two have been fighting ever since!

For God’s sake, Zambians, it’s the colonisers and their ethnologists and anthropologists with their not-so-hidden agenda who decided that Zambia had seventy-three tribes. Most Zambians — me and a few others excepted — believe this to be a fact. It’s not; it’s a false reality, a myth.

Zambians, and indeed millions of Africans all over this continent, have been so brainwashed by the colonialists that no decent debate about detribalisation is possible. In Zambia, seventy-three (73) is an indelible figure that is seared in the psyche. We parrot it like it’s a golden unbreakable law cast in stone. What BS.

People, the colonialists decided that the Lenje, Soli, and Sala were different tribes. Are you kidding me? They decided that the Chishinga, Ushi, Kabende, Ng’umbo, Mukulu and Unga were different tribes. Are they really, and you believe that bull?? Hmmm. They decided that the Zambezi Valley We and the Plateaux Tonga, the Lumbu and Ila were different tribes. Wow, really? They decided that the Mambwe, Lungu and Namwanga were different tribes. Gee, are you sure? They also decided for us that the Lamba, Lala, Swaka, Lima and Seba were — that’s right — different tribes! Are you sure? After a lifetime of exposure, 𝐈 𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐛𝐞𝐭 𝐦𝐲 𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐥𝐞 𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐲 𝐨𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐬𝐮𝐫𝐞.

This is the kind of nonsense that is all over that 73-tribe divide and rule rulebook that we have swallowed hook line and sinker.

There is more.

The colonisers strengthened their hand and made the divide bigger by giving the “tribes” different histories of origin and left them fighting on who came first to this turf now called Zambia. And by deciding which languages to translate the Bible into, the colonialists left Zambians fighting on which language was first among equals. During colonialism, they went the extra mile by only recognising chiefs who were pliant or complaisant. The stubborn ones were dethroned or imprisoned or killed or not recognised by His Majesty’s government! What cheek! This left a mess of a legacy in succession dynamics that plagued and continues to plague many chiefdoms.

Most “tribes” in Luapula, Northern, Muchinga, Copperbelt, and Central provinces are undoubtedly of the same ethnicity. Similarly, most “tribes” in the Southern Province and those in the Western Province and the ones in the Eastern Province are ethnically the same.

𝐁𝐲 𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐚𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚 𝐝𝐢𝐚𝐥𝐞𝐜𝐭 𝐨𝐫 𝐚𝐧 𝐚𝐜𝐜𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐚𝐦𝐞 𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐮𝐚𝐠𝐞, 𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐲 𝐠𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐩𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 𝐰𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐥𝐚𝐛𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐝 𝐚𝐬 𝐛𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐨𝐟 𝐚 𝐝𝐢𝐟𝐟𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐭 “𝐭𝐫𝐢𝐛𝐞” 𝐛𝐲 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐁𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐬𝐡 𝐜𝐨𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐢𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐬.

𝐋𝐞𝐭 𝐦𝐞 𝐭𝐞𝐥𝐥 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐢𝐬 𝐛𝐮𝐥𝐥.

In England — the people who perfected Indirect Rule through divide and rule, Londoners speak with a Cockney accent. Up North, they speak a Yorkshire dialect. In Newcastle, they speak Geordie, and in Liverpool, their dialect is called Scouse. There are many more accents in England, but they label them as accents and rarely as dialects. But tellingly, they do not label the people in those regions as different tribes; they regard themselves as being of one English ethnicity and not tribes.

What did the British do in Zambia? Set up a tribal room full of smoke and mirrors!

In Northern Rhodesia, all the peoples speaking different accents and dialects were labelled as different tribes, and you, Zambians, continue to accept this seventy-three-tribe nonsense. In case you still don’t get it, many so-called tribes are really language dialects and accents.

The tribe ruse worked perfectly back then. It’s still working today. Shame on us. The false consciousness of the “tribe” label makes our tails stand up, our chests to puff up, our blood pressures to rise and our index fingers to point out and stab each other’s foreheads!

Wake up, Zambians, and think! In case you still don’t get it, ethnicity is an identifying label with edifying consequences. Tribe — as interpreted by the colonialists — is a divisive label that can result in dire consequences.

𝐑𝐞𝐦𝐞𝐦𝐛𝐞𝐫 𝐑𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐚 𝐢𝐧 𝟏𝟗𝟗𝟒?

And as we continue fighting one another over colonially instigated tribal primogeniture of which tribe shall inherit the governor’s mantle, echoes of ghostly derisory laughter from the old Colonial Office and barely suppressed mirth from present-day Whitehall are ringing. Mark my words. What they are saying is: Wow! Our ruse has worked so well! Look at how divided these natives are on tribal basis! Jack, continue siphoning the cobalt and tantalum from their feet as they continue to harden their tribal divisions!

It’s not about throwing away our languages, traditions, and cultures — though some have to be jettisoned. It’s about making more horizontal linkages in addition to the traditional vertical ones; it’s about trusting the other fellow even if you do not have a common ancestor; 𝐢𝐭’𝐬 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐰𝐞 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐛𝐞𝐞𝐧 𝐝𝐮𝐩𝐞𝐝, 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐢𝐟 𝐰𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐮𝐞 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐝𝐢𝐯𝐢𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐛𝐲 𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐜𝐨𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐢𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐬, 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐰𝐞 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐟𝐨𝐨𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐬.

As we the dinosaurs die off, let us not imbue our children and our children’s children with the same muck that is threatening to tear up this country.

𝐖𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐮𝐩 𝐙𝐚𝐦𝐛𝐢𝐚!

𝐄𝐗𝐂𝐄𝐏𝐓 𝐅𝐑𝐎𝐌 𝐑𝐔𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒. 𝐖𝐇𝐀𝐓 𝐀𝐑𝐄 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐖𝐀𝐈𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐅𝐎𝐑? 𝐁𝐔𝐘 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐂𝐎𝐏𝐘 𝐅𝐑𝐎𝐌 𝐁𝐎𝐎𝐊𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐋𝐃 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐋𝐔𝐒𝐀𝐊𝐀 𝐍𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐀𝐋 𝐌𝐔𝐒𝐄𝐔𝐌 𝐁𝐎𝐎𝐊𝐒𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐄